Friday, November 30, 2012

Nothing is impossible.

So, I've officially made it three days in a row waking up at 6 am to work out. Three days. That's awesome. It's such a small step, such a small amount of time, but I'm proud of myself. I needed to feel that momentum again. There's so much going on in my life right now and so many things that are just up in the air that having this to focus on has been a welcome retreat. I am three weeks away from going home to Nebraska for Christmas, and I'd like to feel like I've made progress again by then.

I weighed myself this morning (despite being terrified about it) and nearly fell over in shock. Despite going on a break from working out and not eating right for nearly a month and a half, I only gained one pound back. I guess somehow I just unconsciously ate less or got in some extra exercise somewhere. I expected to get on the scale and feel somewhat defeated but I just wanted to know. While one pound was still one pound too many, I'm happy that I'm not totally starting over from scratch.

Everyone has been so supportive these last few days, and giving me extra encouragement to keep going and I'm taking all of it in. Now to focus on the other items that don't involve weight loss. I still have a pretty giant stack of books to read. I've just gotta find the time to sit down and do it. I've still got nine months left to get some more of these items crossed off, so let's do this.

On a last little side note for today, I've seen this video being passed around Facebook, and if you haven't already, I suggest you watch it. Not only did I cry my eyes out, but I did get inspired. Sometimes it's nice to have the reminder that nothing is impossible. 


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I'm back, ya'll!

Oy! How the eff did it get to be November 28th already? I've been away for so long. Too long, in fact. First, let me say, I'm sorry that I let you all down. I had so many of you asking me when I would come back, and I honestly didn't know the answer. I was frustrated. I was stressed beyond belief at work. I was cutting off a lot of things that were important to me because that's what I do. That's how I've always handled things that are "hard". I put hard in quotes because I don't think this particular journey is hard. It's different, but it's not that hard.

I certainly made it out to be harder than it needed to. It's not really that difficult to wake up at 6:30 and go to the gym. It's not that difficult to read a book instead of watch a movie. It's not that difficult to eat some healthy instead of something that can barely be called food. While all of you have been nothing but supportive, what I want you all to know is that I don't want to give up. I wouldn't have started this project if I thought that I was just going to quit. None of these things would be on my "to-do" list if I didn't want to do them in the first place.

What I have to keep reminding myself is that I'm trying to change my brain's programming after 29 years. I've spent my whole life on one track, and now I'm trying to leap to a completely alternate lifestyle. It's not supposed to be easy, change never is. But I want to find happiness and I don't want to waste my life sitting on my ass.

I can tell you right now that I don't know how many times I might fall down between now and August 20th, but I can tell you that I will always pick myself back up. I went to the gym this morning and reset my Couch to 5K back to Week 1 - Day 1. That in itself has given me a renewed sense of motivation. I also have to thank my friend Dave for a somewhat brutally honest conversation on Monday night that helped me realize how much I truly needed this project back in my life. I needed that, Dave, and I thank you. And thank you to all of the rest of you who have believed in me along the way as well. I'm back, yall. Watch out : )