Yay! I've been accepted!

So, Item # 6  on my list (again, these are in no particular order) is to Volunteer for the Special Olympics. I submitted my official application yesterday and received the above email back! I'm seriously stoked. I've been talking about doing this for quite some time, ever since I was first introduced to SO, and the amazing volunteers and athletes within the organization a few years ago. My best friend from college, Shawn, suggested that we do our Documentary project with SO and I have to admit, I was nervous. I had zero experience working with people who had special needs and wasn't sure how to be. I was the director of our film, and somehow I had to connect with something completely unknown to my world at that time. That project truly opened my eyes. Not only did the athletes make me feel totally welcome, but I was instantly awed by everyone. These athletes were inspiring and changed every single notion I had ever thought or unknowingly assumed.  I met some absolutely amazing individuals throughout that whole process, and I've wanted to get involved ever since. Inevitably, as with all of the other items on this list, I made excuses for why I didn't have the time. Well, now I'm making the time. There's absolutely no reason for me not to. I seriously cannot wait to get started! I've also decided to include my documentary below, in case anyone is interested in checking it out. 

Thank you, Facebook.

If I didn't feel motivated before, Facebook sure helped me out. Thanks for reminding me that I'm ginormous, you bastard. On a side note, I think I'll start accepting applications for people to spoil me. That sounds awesome.

I apologize in advance for what you're about to witness.

I needed something to shoot. I had nothing to shoot. This is what happened.

Three posts in one day?!

I'm sorry, I had to. I just arrived back home after Dance Class #1: Hip Hop. OHMYGOODLORD I feel fantastic! Aside from every bone and muscle in my body being furious at me for what I just put it through, that was the most amazing hour of my life. I've been missing dance for years... It's always been something that has been a part of my soul, and it was missing for the last 11 years or so. I'm being absolutely serious when I say that I almost lost it in the middle there. I forgot how powerful it is to let your body just become a part of the music. I'm completely inspired! I also found my choreographer for the Dance Music Video I'm making towards the end of this project. His name is Casper. He is epic. Alright, I've posted enough for today, tomorrow is a rest, read, and learn French day. Eff yes.

The Meeting with Jason Blanchard-My Goals Coach

This here's my Goal Coach, Jason. We filmed this about a week and a half ago (sorry, I'm just now getting it uploaded). The day before this all started, Jason started sending me motivational texts on nearly a daily basis. He's been incredibly supportive since the first conversation he and I shared about this daunting project. I am totally grateful to have him as a motivator, and probably wouldn't have made it through the first week without him. Thanks Jason!

New work out clothes worked!

I got up this morning around 7 am, and had my favorite boss join me for a work out session at my apartment complex gym. The new work out clothes made it a little more fun (see below-but don't laugh). I can honestly say my legs hurt, but that good kind of hurt. The "I am definitely doing this" pain. I've also decided what my first 5K will be. I'm going to do the Color Run on December 2nd! (www.thecolorrun.com) Basically, you just run and get colored paint sprayed at you once in awhile. It sounds awesome. And ridiculous, which is why it is totally appropriate for my first 5K ever. My marathon coach, Tracy, forwarded me a plan called "Couch to 5K" which is a 9 week plan of action to get ready for the 3.1 miles I'll be running. It's totally doable, so I'm feeling a little less overwhelmed about it. I also did fantastically at choosing my food today, and I still have 830 calories left for dinner! Woot!

Five minutes to spare

I almost didn't make it to blog before the day was done. Honestly, I'm struggling with the food part. I didn't assume it would be easy, but I think I had more confidence in my ability to stay strong in the first week at least. This week was full of distractions. Excuses, really. I am mentally drained from my week of chaos but I'm back on track. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of this life changing year, and I'm back on the horse with a vengeance. I'm going to wake up early, head to the gym in my new work out clothes (I'm hoping that will help with the drive to do it). I can and will do this.

On a side note: I read 168 pages of Wicked in the last two days! I'm going to keep a running tab at the end of my blogs every day with the page count from here on out.

Book 1- Page 1

The list of books to read this year is quite ginormous. I'm going to keep a tally of pages read throughout the year, just for fun. The list is no particular order, so I'm choosing Book #1 at random. I've never seen the musical Wicked, and I've heard the books are are fantastic. Reading was one of my favorite things as a child, but as I grew up, I found myself making excuses for not having the time. There's plenty of time to read, I just chose not to. I'm thrilled to be reunited with my lost love, Words.

Next on the list...

It's time to start learning French! This just arrived today. So excited! I should maybe give some background on the whole learning French thing. Quite some time ago, I was dating (and then lived with) a guy from Togo, Africa. He spoke French, and even for a time lived in Paris. Out of every attractive quality a man can have, speaking French is at the top of my personal preferences. For the last 8 years, I've wanted to learn French to help find that perfect French guy. I wish I could say it was for something less trivial, but I have no shame. I also promised to be honest with all of you, and most of all myself, so that's the truth.

Good stuff

Day 4 is over with. Today was much harder to get through. I was completely mentally and physically exhausted from driving all over the state of Florida yesterday (7 hours total). I woke up this morning and had to head into work and greet the 75 emails I missed over the last three days. I worked straight until 8:30 pm. These are the days that are going to be the toughest. Some work days are longer than others, and I just have to acknowledge that sometimes I can't fit exercise in. But, I did stay under my calorie intake for the day, so at least that part was covered. I'm home now and in less than two minutes, I'll be dead asleep and will just have to start over tomorrow. But, tomorrow is a brand new day so bring it!

My Fitness Pal

Just got the My Fitness Pal app, add me! My username is nikitabanana29. I've already started tracking the calories. This is going to be an incredibly helpful tool.

Day 2

My birthday party last night was absolutely amazing. I can honestly say that I have never had that much fun nor have I felt that much love on any other occasion. Alcohol definitely got the best of me, but I did manage to fit in 15 minutes of a work out prior to the festivities. Today was a recovery day, but I still found some time to do some dancing alone in my room. Every little bit helps. I should add that probably the most difficult thing about today was not having any pop or coffee. I don't recall any day in recent history having gone without coffee and I could have really used some. My sister and I traveled to my mothers house in Tampa and wow that drive is long without caffeine. Tomorrow, I plan on getting up at a decent time and taking a walk around the neighborhood before we head to Fort Myers to visit my daughter. It's going to be great day. My sister hasn't seen my daughter in about 6 or 7 years.I can't wait to see my daughter and my nieces interact. It's such a rare occasion to get everyone in the same place at the same time. Day 2 has come and gone, and I just gotta remember that it will get easier as time goes on...

The Plan.

AHHHHHH!!! The day is finally here! Let's do this.

That was humbling.

This one is going to be short. I couldn't fit on the hulk ride. I didn't know I was that big until this moment. I told myself I would be honest on this blog and this is about as honest as I have ever been. I'm really struggling to keep the tears in. How did I let myself get to this point? It wasn't that I was too big to actually go on the ride, it was that I had to switch to the seat with a longer seat belt and my ass barely made it into the bucket seat. To the point where I actually felt pain throughout the entire ride. Guess I was looking for motivation to get started, and it just hit me smack in the face. My weight has now impacted my ability to enjoy one of my favorite things... Tomorrow is a new day. I can do this. I can't afford not to.

Why do I want to live?

Yesterday, I sat down with my goals coach, Jason Blanchard, to discuss my plan for the next year. He threw a curve ball at me that I was absolutely not expecting. Jason looked at me and asked, "So, if you are doing this because you don't want to die, why do you want to live?" It seems like such a basic question, but I honestly could not answer. It's been in the back of my mind for the last 24 hours, and I thought maybe writing this out would help.

How does one even begin to contemplate why they want to stay alive? I know that part of why I'm doing this project is because I know that being unhealthy is going to eventually catch up to me. I know that I don't want to die of lung cancer, or get diabetes. But why do I want to live?

Would it be ridiculous to say that I don't want my mother to be alone? That's not really a reason for me, that's a reason for her. What do I want out of life that is so important for me to see this through? I don't have children that I'm raising, I don't have a husband to take care of, it's just me. Maybe what I really want is to inspire. I want someone reading this blog to discover that they want more out of life than just living the day to day. Truly, if I can get through this, and really do this right, anyone can. I've spent years being complacent and perfectly comfortable with the minimum out of life. I don't want that anymore.

I want to travel and see the world for how truly incredible it is. I want to be well read and have insightful conversations with new people. I want to give back to those who aren't as fortunate as I am. I want to utilize my talents and abilities and share them with the world. I want my life to actually have purpose. A true purpose.

Why do I want to live? Because I need to find out what that purpose is.

Two more days...

It's getting closer and closer. It's really quite hard to believe that I'm only two days away from starting this crazy journey. The overall idea started about a year and a half ago. I was two weeks away from heading to Bora Bora with the Kardashians (yes, THOSE Kardashians), and it was my first time leaving the country. It occurred to me then that at 27 years old, I hadn't experienced anything of the things I had planned to. I told my mom that I was going to start changing my life by no longer fearing the unknown. I did something crazy on that trip that I still don't believe I actually experienced. I swam in that big ass ocean with sharks and rays swimming right next to, below, and all around me. It was insane. But the thrill of doing something I had feared my entire life was overwhelming. And from that moment on, this project went into development. Basically, I spent a year and a half putting it off.

Cut to a few months ago, I said to myself, "Nikki, it's time. You're about to be 29 years old. Get it done."

So, here we are. Two days away from taking on the biggest thing I have ever, or will ever do. I'm scared out of my mind. I'm terrified of failure. My hope is that fear will only spur me on, and that a year from now, I'll be sitting down to write about how proud I am of myself for accomplishing everything I set out to do.

Two more days...

Here I go...

As some of you may or may not know, I am turning 29 a week from today. August 20th, 2012 will be the last birthday of my twenties. How in the hell did that happen? I'm not particularly scared of aging, but being confronted with the idea that my twenties somehow passed me by is...well, depressing. I've done a lot in 29 years, but I've also intended to do so much more and just got lazy somewhere along the way. I'm all too aware of how far behind the curve I am. I'm single, unhealthy, I smoke, I never go out anymore, and all I do is work. I'm pretty sure there is more to life. I've made plenty of New Years Resolutions, set all kinds of goals, and talked a big game, but I rarely do any of the things I say I'm going to.

"I'm going to lose 100 pounds..."
"I'm going to read more books..."
"I'm going to be more adventurous...."
"I'm going to volunteer more..."
"I'm going to quit smoking..."
"I'm going to start dancing again..."

All of these (and more) have been verbalized in some form or another for the last ten years, and yet here I sit. It's time. All of this has been brewing inside me for years, and it finally hit me that 30 is right around the corner. Maybe if I document everything through a blog/vlog, I'll actually go through with it. I need something to hold myself accountable. I need the support of my family and friends to make this work. This is me asking for it.

I have one week before I change my life forever. Here's to being crazy enough to actually do this...